The New Season of Giving

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The generous will prosper; those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed. Proverbs 11:25 (NLT)

Most translations of the above verse are pretty similar. Sometimes you have an outlier translation of a verse that causes a second look or a deeper thought. This one is pretty straight forward. Other than some translations using gender-neutral rather than gender-specific language (a generous person rather than a generous man) the idea is the same.

But I still think we miss it — even those who’ve memorized it.

The text says that one who is generous will prosper. Yet, I think most of us believe – whether we admit it or not – that the real meaning here is that the prosperous should be generous. While I think the Bible has a lot to say about the responsibility the of the wealthy, that’s not what this verse is addressing.

It’s easy to believe the prosperous should be generous because, quite frankly, most of us don’t see ourselves as prosperous. So until Publisher’s Clearing House arrives with the big check, deep down we believe the verse doesn’t really apply to us.

Once our ship comes in, or the mortgage is paid. Once the kids are out of college and our cars are paid off. Once that promised promotion arrives and our 401k gets rolling, I’ll be prosperous. Until then, though, I really can’t afford to be generous.

But here’s the reality:

You don’t have to be wealthy to be generous.

You don’t have to give stuff away to be generous.

You don’t have to have your act together to be generous.

You don’t have to be an expert to be generous.

You don’t have to wait to be asked to be generous.

You don’t have to wait for a pressing need to be generous.

You don’t need an ESPN Outside the Lines, Oprah interview, or a 60 Minutes tear-jerker volunteer spotlight to be generous.

You can be generous with time and generous with complements. You can be generous with giving credit and generous with grace.

If you live as though prosperity is purely an accumulation of assets, you’ll probably never give anything away, and that’s sad. But it would be more regrettable than that haircut at Great Clips to live as if you can only give gifts of monetary value.

What if you thought of generosity as a willingness to share what you have?  What if you decided to share a meal, share space, or share your time. What if you broke out of your comfort zone to share your faith, share in the process, or share your struggles. You can certainly share a laugh and share experiences.

What if, now that Christmas is in the rearview mirror, you decided that now is the season of giving?

And what if you gave this challenge more than just a thought?

This Is Us

Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Matthew 6: 31 – 33 (ESV)

I love those commercials for Caribbean vacations. In order to hook a potential customer, they usually show two attractive people walking hand-in-hand down a sandy white beach, enjoying the sunset in their private seaside open-air villa, or sitting side-by-side on loungers watching a passing sailboat and sipping Coronas.

Can’t you just picture yourself there?

I wonder what a Pinterest Fail (before and after photos comparing what the clever holiday treat looks like on Pinterest to how the actual finished product turned out) of one of those resort commercials would look like. I imagine it looking similar to a New Yorker-like cartoon I saw online. A man and woman are sitting in loungers at one of these resorts. The setting is just as you see in the ad with one exception. Instead of looking like fashion models, the couple appears to be middle-aged and kind of average looking; you know, like real people.

The caption reads: “Oh no, we’re still us.”

I love that. They’ve changed their surroundings and updated their outfits, but they’ve remained unchanged. He’s still got bad knees, ear hair, and plantar fasciitis.  She still prefers the mumu, burns easily, and secretly misses their cat.

Destination Disease

A change in scenery doesn’t mean a change within or a change of heart. Relocation is not transformation. Yet somehow many of us believe that rearranging the furniture of our lives equates to change. It doesn’t.

We’re still us, warts, buck teeth, and all.

That new job, new team, or new church may be as pretty as advertised, but you’ve got to remember that when you go there, you take you with you. All the relocating in the world won’t bring contentment, make you less critical, or lengthen your notoriously short fuse. Unless you address whatever it is causing your dis-ease, pretty soon you’ll be playing the same game with different players.

Distance may give perspective and allow you to process, but it doesn’t offer long-term change. In fact, it will most likely prolong any attempts to deal with core issues. In her book, Extraordinary Relationships, Roberta Gilbert writes: Distance can provide some temporary emotional calm, but over time distancing actually intensifies feelings.

I realize that sometimes changes in scenery are necessary and can serve as wonderful catalysts for growth. Leaving a toxic or stagnant situation is probably a good thing, but don’t make the mistake of believing that the answer is solely in the perfect destination.

Cosmetic Cure-all

Why is it that the long-time middle school teacher knows without a doubt that a student’s new Lucky Brand jeans and Chuck Taylors will not earn them a seat at the cool kids’ table, yet finds herself buying clothes and changing her hair to look like the new first-year hires?

Why does her husband think the Carhartt jacket and Ford F-150 communicates to the world he still has his man card?

Why do we know that posing in a silk robe with an umbrella drink doesn’t make us somebody, yet still deal with our insecurity, discontentment, aging, or whatever with cosmetic adjustments?

Because it’s easy. Because it does offer some temporary relief. But I think we do it mainly because we buy the lie — literally — that emotional and spiritual unrest can be fixed by the temporal, and never allow the closet full of last year’s attempts (or the garage full of previous ones) to convince us otherwise.

Redefining Us

What if this year, you refused to give in to the temptation to rearrange the furniture of your life and decided to seek after eternal things? What if, instead trying to “Be Somebody” you decided to be you? After all, what if God had you in mind when He made you? What if you redefined your definition of success, approval, or the good-life and decided to focus on life with God?

He’ll change you from the inside out.

Cause when You speak and when You move, when You do what only You can do, it changes us. It changes what we see and what we seek. (from, Spirit of the Living God, Vertical Church Band)

Neglecting the Core

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“Lift with your legs, not your back.” That’s pretty much all I remember about proper core care from high school. I still don’t know what that means, by the way.

Case in point: I hurt my back at the gym a few weeks ago. I don’t know if I was lifting something too heavy, using improper technique — or both — but those seconds of unnecessary strain have produced weeks of discomfort, limited activity, and a slew of old-man grunts.

Now I know why trainers and fitness enthusiasts advocate strengthening the core, because I’ve experienced a taste of what happens to a body when the core has been neglected.

The core is what trendy fitness enthusiasts call those essential mid-torso muscles that undergird everything else. This unsung band of muscles forms the foundation and provides support for all other exercises. Without the core, there would be no max-out lift sessions; no record-breaking squats. There are no “results” without the core. The visible (in this case, increase in strength or muscle mass) is made possible by the invisible (the core). Yet, since there is no observable benefit to core work, it’s often neglected.

This happens in life, as well.

Whether you are leading a family, running an organization, working with people, or trying to determine the next step in your life, you’re headed for some time on IR if you neglect your core. At some point, what people see and what they applaud (like the “results” of an exercise regime) will grab your attention and you’ll be tempted to direct more of your energy to the result-producing activity. Like a three year-old who just discovered high-fives, the jolt of adrenaline you receive from “something that works” will make you want to do it more often and with more intensity. You’ll work harder at the office, expect more from your employees, stay away from the family longer, overload your support system. You’ll ride that pony ’til it can’t go any more. But if you neglect the foundational people, processes, or convictions that set the stage for the success or growth, you’ll pay the price, and may even experience permanent damage.

Neglecting Core Habits:

Sleep deprivation is the classic example here. We think clearer, are less reactionary, and have ample energy when we are well rested. Yet, how often does ambition, success, or an upcoming deadline cause us to disregard our body’s need for rest? The pillow is not the only thing abandoned when we live in an adrenaline-produced frenzy. We also find our selves drawn to junk food, energy drinks, and Entertainment Tonight. We buy into the lie that a quick text to a loved one equals quality conversation. We avoid contemplation, attentive Bible reading, and just can’t find the time to pray.

But most of the damage done by neglecting core habits is this: you create new, less healthy ones.

Neglecting Core Values and Convictions:

When the pressure to produce rises to an uncomfortable level, we are tempted to get a little lax on our convictions. Whether stated or understood, most folks share some version of these core values: personal integrity, working hard, the importance of family. People of faith have additional convictions about the importance of Scripture, living in obedience to its teaching, and developing an intimate relationship with Christ. When the pressure’s on, however, all of us can be tempted to neglect the core convictions that helped us get there in the first place. These values are not abandoned or rejected, they’re just placed on the back burner.  Elite athletes tend to be extremely careful about what they allow in their body. Yet the same athlete who would never allow a potato chip to pass his lips will inject questionable chemicals if he thought it might give him competitive edge. But athletes are not the only ones tempted to neglect their core values and compromise their integrity when the pressure gets hot. When the tests of life become more difficult and more seems to be riding on them, the temptation to look on our neighbor’s paper causes many to compromise their convictions.

Neglecting Core People:

When Malcom Gladwell wrote about the 10,000 hour rule, some critics began to take issue with that number arguing its validity and asking for empirical evidence. Gladwell’s point, however, was not to set a proficiency standard of deliberate practice, it was to recognize the impossibility of someone devoting 10,000 hours to anything without help. Someone had to pay for lessons, provide transportation, offer creative suggestions, or cover expenses. The proficiency muscles developed by 10,000 hours of practice were supported by a core group of people whose support and behind-the-scenes work made the growth possible. Likewise, as your organization grows or expertise improves, chances are you have a core group of leaders or supporters who keep shoveling coal into the boiler. They provide the structure, guidance, and fuel needed to move the organization down the track. But when we continue to increase their workload, make selfish claims on their time, or fail to give them a break we’re setting ourselves (and them) up for a crash. Your team will burnout or bailout, if you continue with an unsustainable pace and unhealthy demands.

As you reflect on 2017, what core have you neglected? Have you allowed success, fear, or drivenness to cause you to neglect the principles or people who helped you get where you are? Make sure your fitness regimen for the new year includes strengthening your core.